It is time for our monthly letters to our children blog circle. It’s a small group this month, just 3 of us so be sure to click through. Next in the group is beautiful and talented Jen Bacher.
Dear Girls,
I have so much to say about friendships. I decided to list them out for you. We recently got to spend a week in TN with my best girlfriends from Okinawa and your best friends as well. We all had the best time even though we hadn’t seen each other in a year and it really got me thinking about how important friendships are. Fill up your friend love tank.
1. Choose friends who have the same values as you. Whether I want to believe it or not, I know that your friends will have a strong influence on you as you grow up. Make sure it is a positive influence.
2. True friends won’t make you feel bad. I have never had one of my best friends go out of their way to make me feel bad, those people aren’t your friends.
3. A great friend will be there for you with chocolate in hand. You are going to have rough times in your life where talking to me won’t be your number one choice. Lean on your friends.
4. Keep secrets. As long as no one is getting hurt physically or emotionally, it’s okay to keep secrets between friends. Never share someone’s secret unless they are being hurt and a parent or adult needs to know about it. Don’t be a gossip.
5. You should laugh a lot with your friends. Laugh so much you cry or snort. Those are the friendships you want to hold onto.
6. Friends aren’t needy. We will move around a lot. True friends won’t say they are upset because you haven’t called or emailed recently. True friendships can stand knowing you don’t need to talk everyday. Some of my best friends and I only talk on the phone once a month or so.
7. You don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of. I did not write that quote but it holds true. Don’t try to collect a ton of friends for the sake of saying you have a ton of friends. Quality out weighs quantity when it comes to friendships.
8. Treat your sisters as nicely as you do your friends. Just something to keep in mind.
9. The best type of friends are those that you haven’t seen in years and when you do it feels as if no time as passed at all.
10. Your girlfriends will outlast all your boyfriends but the one you marry. Don’t ditch them for every boy that shows you interest.
11. You should be able to be who you are around your friends. 100% yourself. Don’t try to be someone else to impress your friends. Then they do not love you for you but who you are trying to be. You will find your group that accepts you for you. Consider them your “Dream Team”.
12. Just listen. Sometimes you just need to listen to your friends. They don’t want you to solve their problems but just listen to them. And your friends should listen to you.
13. Be honest with your friends. You can’t control how someone hears what you have to say. Be true to yourself.
14. You will encounter mean girls who try to tell you what you need to do in order to be their friend. These girls are NOT your friend. Your friends will accept you and love you for who you are. Avoid these girls.
15. Chocolate, ice cream, or any kind of baked goods are essential to bring with you if a girlfriend is having a crisis.
16. Finding good friends isn’t always easy. We may live somewhere for a little while before you find that good friend God has in mind for you. Don’t get discouraged. You are blessed with sisters so you will always have friends.
17. Avoid toxic friends. If you leave hanging out with someone and feel emotionally drained then these are not the friends you want to spend time with.
18. Shopping, getting coffee, and pedicures are more fun when done with your girlfriends.
19. A true friend is the one you can sit or walk with, and not say anything or feel you need to fill the silence. Those are the friendships to cherish.
20. Hold onto great friendships. A friend you met at age 13 may still be one of your best friends 19 years later.
21. Girlfriends are essential. Choose good ones. Be a good one. And love those friends for who they are.
I love you,
Mommy
Yikes! This made me cry. :(
Yes! Just kidding :)
Love it, every word! Got a little teary. You are a great friend to so many Courtney. Your girls are lucky to have a momma who is the ultimate example of a true friend!
Aww, thanks. I am blessed with great friends like you :)
Hi Courtney,
I love Click it Up a Notch. As a photographer for the past 15 years I have people ask all the time if I’ll teach a class or show them how to use their camera. I tell them all they need is on your site!
And now, I really love your letter to your daughters. I was a elementary and high school teacher and children with moms like you always do well! I have children 24 and 27 and I wrote many, many such letters to them. They are now lovely adults and my friends! Your are doing such a great job on all fronts…thanks for sharing it with the rest of us! Sincerely, Donna Jones
Thank you so much! Your words mean so much!
I love this post Courtney! All of your points ring true. Those girls of yours are lucky to have you as their momma :)
Thanks! I can say the same about your kiddos!
You’ve inspired me with the letters to your children and I sat down last evening and wrote a letter to my youngest son whom we are taking to university tomorrow. I am going to miss him so much and I wanted him to have in writing how much he means to me.
I love that you are writing letters to your children! Honestly, I wish I had started this sooner. How special for your youngest to get your letter on his first day of school :)