I realized after I posted my picture in the Top 10 of 2010 I have never explained why I picked that photo of Kate and her umbrella as my logo.
I was taking a photography workshop and I needed to get a silhouette shot for my assignment. I asked Ian and the girls to go out with me that night and I had visions in my head of these amazing silhouettes I was going to achieve. Big mistake! We went to a local beach and the area where I thought would be perfect for the silhouette was not after all.
After some frustration and fear the sun was going to set before I took a picture, I found a rock that was about 1 ft x 1 ft. I had Kate stand up on it and asked her to hold the umbrella. Of course, when you give a 3 year old an umbrella they never hold it like you ask. I needed her to look in a certain direction while holding the umbrella. Let me just give you a heads up…that is nearly impossible. I was getting extremely frustrated and was on the verge of yelling at her (I didn’t say this story would make me sound like mom of the year) I kept telling her to hold the umbrella like this, hold the umbrella like this, hold the umbrella LIKE THIS!!
Keep in mind the whole time Kate is trying to do what I asked her to. She just didn’t understand. I took about 150 pictures and I was convinced none of them turned out.
In the car on the way back, I was so mad and told her she wasn’t going to get ice cream like we had hoped because she didn’t do a good job (I still feel terrible about that). After we got home, I found this one photo. That is it! Out of 150 I got this one. I loved it!
But I started to think about how I had acted that night and was extremely embarrassed and frustrated with myself. I apologized to Ian for acting like a crazy woman. I thought he would brush it off and say “it’s fine” but then he said “Do you even like photography?” I was dumbfounded. Of course, I liked photography. He went on to explain how mad and frustrated I was during the whole photo shoot and he couldn’t understand how, if I liked it, did I act like that?
I then tried to explain how I had high expectations of how I wanted my photo and I was frustrated it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I then started to cry (this happens a lot :O) I explained that since I was a stay-at-home mom it was nice to have something I was good at. I liked that in my photography workshop I was praised for my work. I was told I was good at something other than something regarding my kids. Photography was for me! I do love to capture their childhood but the reason I love photography is because I had a way to express myself again. I liked being told I was good at something again. When you are in the work place you get praised for your work but who praises you at home? It’s not like Emma thanks me for changing her diaper or Kate praises me for spending 45 minutes making dinner.
It was so nice to be good at something again. So after a lot of tears and explaining this to Ian he started to understand why I love photography.
The next morning as soon as Kate woke up, I apologized for being short with her the night before and took her out for ice cream that afternoon.
Every time I look at that photo it humbles me. I’m reminded that kids are just kids. I shouldn’t have crazy expectations for her to act a certain way. It also reminds me that it’s not about getting the perfect photo of my kids if we are miserable doing it. I now go into all our photo shoots with low expectations of capturing the perfect photo. I am a lot more laid back and I know we all have a lot more fun doing it.
It’s no longer this painful thing we have to endure. It’s now an enjoyable way to spend some time together while capturing it with my camera.
I tell you all this because several people have asked if I get frustrated with photography, if my kids always sit still, and I’m here to tell you, I nor my children are perfect.